Saving is a virtue, even in love, it’s important to be thrifty and not extravagant. Choosing second-hand items is practical and nothing to be ashamed of.

Let’s start with a small example:

Someone bought a pair of second-hand shoes, they fit well, are comfortable, and most importantly, they are a limited edition from a big brand, and even came with original socks.

It is said that the previous owner only wore them for a year, due to financial constraints, they reluctantly gave the shoes to a new owner. The shoes look as good as new, costing just a few hundred bucks, a bargain compared to the original price…

When I saw this “case” on the big screen, I felt somewhat incredulous. The concept of second-hand consumption is rapidly developing, gradually becoming popular and a preferred choice for many.

Even if you don’t acknowledge it, many people indeed opt for “second-hand.”

This morning at work, a speaker mentioned the “second-hand shoe” case, emphasizing that second-hand consumption is an economical and commendable principle.

Indeed, saving is a noble attitude and a traditional virtue. By recycling resources, we can promote this virtue and make it convenient for everyone…

You might have noticed that topics like “eliminating food waste,” “saving food,” “ordering as needed,” and “waste is shameful” have gradually become hot topics of discussion recently.

Saving at the dining table, being thrifty in life, it doesn’t need enforcement, as food is a top priority. In this new era, saving as a leading example should be consistently upheld.

Being frugal and saving is urgent, and second-hand consumption is definitely not embarrassing.

In theory, all good habits should be encouraged, at the very least, one shouldn’t belittle oneself and certainly should not feel embarrassed.

However, in life, in many specific situations, many people might consider saving as losing face. Especially in relationships, some people believe that being thrifty in front of their partners damages their image.

In reality, this is a manifestation of vanity. Particularly in love, those with excessive vanity may view thriftiness as devaluing themselves, and consequently, they actually devalue themselves.

We need to popularize a viewpoint: in love, one should not be “greedy for love.” Even in relationships, it’s essential to be thrifty and firmly avoid all kinds of extravagance and waste, as it is a sign of strong personal charisma.

After discussing being frugal and saving, let’s talk about another form of thriftiness. There is a practical and economical approach, commonly known as the “make-do with second-hand series.”

Have you ever bought second-hand products? Do you think second-hand consumption is a degrading behavior?

What do you think is the fundamental difference between second-hand and brand-new?

If your friends and colleagues found out that you bought second-hand items, would you feel embarrassed?

What items can be second-hand, and what items should never be second-hand?

These are questions that are akin to soul-searching.

Many relationships that were once good have been exposed as hypocritical due to facing similar soul-searching questions, leading to the relationships never being the same again.

All reasonable and legitimate needs in this world are completely justified. There’s no need to feel inferior about second-hand consumption, and there’s certainly no need to feel ashamed.

Many times, life doesn’t really care about others’ opinions. Sometimes, the so-called loss of face is due to overestimating oneself.

Let me share a relationship case: saving face is not embarrassing, pretending to look down on thriftiness is the real embarrassment. Pretending to be noble in a relationship only harms oneself.

I remember around the middle of last year, I saw a post from a lady who was considering divorce, complaining about her husband’s inaction and shortcomings.

This lady’s mindset is representative, revealing her biases:

“We’ve been married for over a year, and my husband is still very stingy, unable to support my dreams. If he truly loves me, he should consider my feelings.

But he acts as if he’s never seen anything, how did I end up with such a weirdo!

Is he unable to afford food or drinks? He’s so pathetic, after dining out, he even wants to pack the leftovers!

A few days ago, my parents came from the countryside to visit me, and my husband took us out for a meal. We had a lot of leftovers, deliberately embarrassing me, insisting on taking the leftovers home to continue eating, and even mentioned supporting the clean plate campaign, blaming me for ordering too much.

With so many people around, all laughing at me, my mom kept sighing. It felt like we were so poor that we couldn’t even afford a pot, I felt so ashamed.

I was furious, had a big argument with him, or else he would’ve really humiliated me. Everyone was making fun of him, definitely thinking he’s clueless, and I felt so embarrassed.

I support saving food and eliminating waste, but I don’t support him embarrassing me in public. Why doesn’t he respect my feelings in front of others?

I can tolerate this embarrassing habit, but what I can’t stand is his preference for buying second-hand items. His phone is second-hand, he only cares about saving money, doesn’t care about saving face for me, and doesn’t consider my feelings.

Our house is second-hand, many things were not replaced before moving in.

The gas stove is second-hand, the water heater is second-hand, the sofa, TV, fridge, all belonged to the previous owner.

No need to say, they are all used items, not brand new. Even though the previous owner was his sister, even though this house was barely lived in, it still bothers me.

Who doesn’t want something “new,” he’s made me lose the feeling of finding a new home just to save a little money. It’s our first anniversary, and he still hasn’t changed, how can I continue living like this?

I’m planning to divorce him, and find a man who at least knows how to respect me.”

This lady is very biased, and I feel this is not an isolated case worth mentioning.

Many people perceive saving as degrading and always fear being ridiculed by others.

From a psychological perspective, this is extreme self-love, indulging in oneself through implications, becoming more fragile as a result.

To say something harsh, they think too highly of themselves. Always believing that they are the center of the universe, so they are overly concerned about their so-called “external image,” not realizing that no one really cares about them on the outside.

What defines losing face, what defines dignity? It all depends on one’s true inner attitude.

I remember watching a video skit last year, the voiceover made a valid point: if you are from the lower class, eating vegetables and watery porridge, others will call you poor, call you shabby. If you are a wealthy person, even if you only eat vegetables without porridge, others will say you know how to improve your lifestyle, say you live elegantly and tastefully.

Therefore, whether a person is shameful or not depends on their foundation, on how they perceive themselves.

True dignity doesn’t need to be flaunted, pretending to be noble is truly useless and makes one even more contemptible.

Think about this principle again, is being frugal and saving really embarrassing?

When it comes to relationships, remember, someone attracted to you by your money might only be attracted to your extravagance. Just like being enamored with your glorious life, when you are no longer shining, unable to splurge, your love will end.

Think about another principle, is buying second-hand embarrassing?

Some people only set conditions for others, but don’t realize what their own conditions are!

I once read a joke that went like this: what’s the difference between getting married before and now? In the past, everything was old except the bride and groom. Now, everything is new, but the bride and groom might be old.

Some people, when disgusted by their partner buying second-hand items, have they ever thought about whether they themselves are second-hand? Second-hand items can be replaced, as a person, would you like to be replaced?

Nowadays, many people’s “nobility” and “excellence,” compared to before, are just neutral terms.

When it comes to relationships, some people have high expectations because they are unaware of their own shortcomings. Being strong, humble. Shouting slogans all day, fearing that in the end, they might just be a nobody.

Always remember, saving is a virtue, extravagant waste at the dining table is not honorable. Those who look down on the virtue of thriftiness are also unlikely to be truly noble, especially when it comes to relationships.